Ex Cineribus Resurgum
by WriterLeigh
Summary: His world collapses down to the four of them stood there, looking in on the ambulance, privy to a scene he never thought he'd live to see. And it's everything. A post-ep one shot based on the events of Under Fire. Esposito/Lanie pairing.


**Author note:**_ This was written to fulfil a prompt left in my inbox a few months ago. It is a post-ep fic set after 'Under Fire'. There may be another part to this at some point in the future because I really enjoyed working on it, but because I never intended for that to happen and since it can stand alone - for now it's gonna be marked as complete. _

_The title is a Latin phrase, which translated means 'from the ashes.' Esplanie pairing!_

_Thank you to KT for the cover art & Ally for kicking my ass. _

_Please read and review – constructive criticism is always welcomed. _

_Enjoy! _

–_Leigh_

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**Disclaimer:** _Obviously just playing with the toys in Andrew Marlowe's playground, so please don't sue ;)_

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**Ex Cineribus Resurgum **

"Espo!" Beckett reaches him first, throwing her arms around him in a fierce hug and holding it for longer than she would usually. He lets her, because he caught the catch in her voice when she yelled his name a second time, trying to make herself heard above the crackle of the still raging inferno. He can feel the tenseness in her posture, and he knows its probably what's keeping her together, so he lets her – even managing to rasp out a perfunctory reassurance that he's okay – before Castle catches him in a relieved bro hug.

He finds himself leaning heavily on Beckett as they move away from the building and when she gives him a sideways glance to assess the damage, Espo sees the concerned shadow that has fallen across her face. He squeezes her arm with the one that hasn't started to throb, "It looks worse than it is," He answers the unasked question, trying to stave off the cough which is burning up his lungs. "How's Jenny? The baby?"

A smile lights up her tired face, "You can see for yourself while you get checked over by an EMT." They come to a standstill beside the ambulance as Ryan shrugs off medical attention and clambers into the back to be with his wife and daughter.

"Javi, thank God!" Lanie's voice is loud and Esposito barely has time to draw breath before she's out of the bus and is right in front of him. It's then that the enormity of his relief hits him and with a tightness in his throat that has little to do with the after effects of smoke inhalation and everything to do with the woman stood not a foot away, he staggers into her desperate embrace. His arms automatically slide around her waist, and he briefly buries his face in the curve of her shoulder, reveling in the fact that beneath the smell of smoke, she still smells like her.

Lanie isn't a crier and so he says nothing about the damp patch of material near his shoulder. His hands trace repetitively along the seams at the sides of her shirt, the familiarity of her curves helping to calm the adrenaline still racing through his veins. Over her shoulder he watches Castle gently bump shoulders with Beckett and the unfamiliar ghost of a smile appears when she instinctively curls into his side. _She'll be okay. They're all okay. _He draws a relieved breath but it catches in his throat and he finds himself struggling to breathe, a hacking cough making its way up from his lungs and finally forcing itself out of his throat.

Lanie winces at his breath sounds, able to feel the elevated beat of his heart from beneath his shirt. She slips out of his embrace, and returning moments later with a plastic cup off water. "Drink," she says, her tone lacking any of it's usual sass. He accepts it from her gratefully, gulping it down in three mouthfuls. "Let's get you checked out."

Esposito resists her when she tries to steer him in the direction of the empty bus, and she glances down at his hand on her arm in confusion, "In a minute," He wheezes, pulling her into his side, hyper-aware of the warm weight of her body aligned comfortingly against his own. They're joined by Castle and Beckett and his world collapses down to the four of them stood there, looking in on the ambulance, privy to a scene he never thought he'd live to see.

He swallows heavily, lungs still thick with smoke, throat raw and his eyes are stinging; watering from the effort of trying not to cough. Because every time he does, Lanie is looking at him in concern, conflict and something else which he couldn't put a name on if he tried. _And he's fine. Really. _

They watch as Ryan leans over and presses a kiss to Jenny's brow, and strokes the cheek of his tiny newborn baby girl. "Javier Esposito, if you ever pull a stunt like that while I'm in labour, bear in mind I know enough about death to make yours look accidental baby," Lanie says fiercely.

Something in Esposito's expression changes, and when he speaks, his guard goes up and he's eyeing her almost warily. "Don't Lanie, don't do this now, because I almost just died. Don't make this about us." It's almost as if they've forgotten they have an audience, although Castle does allow Beckett to pull him away, affording them some small degree of privacy.

"You – almost – just – died," Lanie enunciates his words, some of the ferociousness returning to her voice. "I thought I'd lost you tonight." She's gripping his forearms so tightly there will be a mark there in the morning, but to Esposito's credit he doesn't wince, his own hands fisted around the front of her blouse, drawing her closer. "If we don't make this about us now, will we ever?"

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Most people hate hospitals, but there's something about the steady beeping of the monitorsthat is reassuring to Lanie as she sits beside Esposito's bed. She is a scientist; she draws comfort from the wonders of modern medicine and she knows he's in the best possible place.

Physically he'll be fine, and his injuries for the most part are superficial – other than a fractured wrist – although he'll be feeling the bruises for a few days. They're keeping him in for twelve hours of observation and have had him on oxygen, but thankfully it wasn't severe enough they felt the need to intubate. He's been given medication for the pain, and finally starts to succumb to the temptation to sleep.

He's halfway through telling Lanie to leave, when his eyes flutter shut and for the first time that evening, she allows herself to chuckle. _Like she's going anywhere._

She doesn't care that she hasn't slept in almost thirty-one hours, or that it'll be almost forty-eight by the time the hospital discharge him, doesn't care that her clothes reek of smoke and that she looks like hell, because _he's okay. _Her last memory isn't going to be the look on his face when she kicked him out of her apartment at 3am because she got called out to a scene.

She's watching the even rise and fall of his chest and she feels herself starting relax a little more. His bed sheet and blanket are half on the floor, so quietly as not to disturb him, she carefully pulls them back up over him and it idly crosses her mind what any of their friends would think if they could see her now. Resuming her place in the chair beside his bed, she reaches for the hand closest to her, her fingers curling around his, thumb stroking the inside of his wrist.

"Stop it," Esposito rasps after about thirty minutes, startling her slightly and causing Lanie to still the movement. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

There's a moment of silence and she can see him contemplating his choice of words, "Like you're never gonna see me again," He answers eventually.

"I thought I was never gonna see you again."

"I'm okay," He starts to cough again and sits up when Lanie pours him a drink from the jug of ice water on the table, before sitting on the end of his bed.

"This time," Her voice is equally ragged, because they both know how close it was, how lucky he is to even be sitting there right now. She can't sit still, and almost as soon as she sat, she's up and pacing the floor next to his bed. "What about the next time? Or the time after that? I work with dead people Javi... I've seen how this ends too many times to count, and tonight – "

"Chica –" He reaches out for her on her next walk past and she shrugs away from him, silencing him with a single look.

"Tonight, I sat in the back of that bus and helped to deliver Kevin Ryan's baby. I held Jenny's hand and I promised her that she'd get through it. I heard her voice break when she told him that she loved him, and all the while you know what I was thinking?" All the fight seems to have drained out of her and this time when Esposito tries to pull her in, she lets him.

Desperation tinges her words and her vision is blurred; her tear tracks from earlier glisten on her cheeks and she's unable to prevent a solitary tear from escaping. She turns her head away; because if there's one thing Lanie Parish doesn't do well it's showing her vulnerability – and Esposito gently, but firmly turns her around to face him. His thumb chases away the moisture, warm palm briefly sliding against her cheek in an attempt to offer her some comfort before it slides down and he takes her hand loosely in his. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking of all the times we were together when you'd start to tell me you loved me and how I wouldn't let you. I was thinking of the one time it slipped out when we were in bed, and how I pretended not to hear you. I thought of every day since then that has ended with us between the sheets, all the times I was too afraid to tell you that I love you too, Javier Esposito."

"You're not afraid anymore?"

"A little afraid," She confesses in one of those rare moments where she allows him to see her stripped completely emotionally bare. Her eyes never leave his face, "But I was more afraid of the last thing I ever said to you being that you should leave." Lanie rises up onto her knees and presses her lips to his, her arms winding around his neck and somewhere in the process of placing kisses along the underside of his jaw, he knows he doesn't imagine the words she breathes out against his mouth. "You make me braver."

He kisses her back, mindless of the machines which are beeping more rapidly in accordance with the extra work his heart is doing right now.

It's a soft cough from the doorway which causes them to break apart. Glancing across the room they see their friends stood there, smirking.

"Is this a bad time?" Jenny says, from the wheelchair.

"We can come back later if you're – busy," Ryan smirks.

"It's fine," Lanie answers for them both, settling into the space he's created beside him, and nestling slightly into his side.

Ryan wheels Jenny over to the edge of the bed and she reaches across to grasp Esposito's uninjured hand, "I'm so glad you're okay," She squeezes him briefly. "Kevin told me what you did in there. You saved his life."

Esposito shrugs, "He's done the same for me, more than once. What are partners for?"

Sarah-Grace chooses that moment to make her presence felt, opening her eyes and letting out a happy little gurgle, followed by a surprisingly loud yawn for such a small baby. Everyone's eyes fall onto the tiny bundle, proudly supported in her mother's arms. "She's beautiful guys," Lanie speaks in a hushed voice, reaching out to stroke the back of one of her hands.

Esposito watches captivated as Sarah-Grace determinedly closes her entire fist around Lanie's finger, gripping tightly. Babies aren't something that have ever been high on his list, but he's watching them and somehow his priorities seem to have shifted since the last time they danced around the topic. _He thinks he might want this with her. One day, when they're not so screwed up and have figured out what in the hell it is they're doing._ Right now though, content with the knowledge they have tomorrow and all the days after, this is enough. It's more than enough.

_It's everything._


End file.
